Well I can definitely give my $.02 worth on these questions since I have at
one time traversed these roads. One never wishes to break apart the from the
bond of their wife and family. Too much energy has been spent molding and
nurturing the family, but sometimes a bad seed sprouts and havoc reigns in the
garden and the weeds take over. If there are no alternatives left the best
thing to do is abandon ship with the best intentions of staying afloat and
hitting solid ground. In today's world were corporations are cut-throat and
job loyalty is a myth loosing a job isn't as bad as it seems. Many people are
diverse in their job skills because it is a necessity in today's job market.
So maybe you will find your more comfortable in a new job and notice what a
whiner the really was. Cars....well they are machines and one can never rely
100% on machines to always work properly. I know this for a fact since I only
buy used cars. But a VW is rather reliable car old or new!
- Gregory Kyryluk: Alpha Wave Movement/Open Canvas
Divorce: congrats on your new found freedom!!
Job lay-off; congrats on your new found freedom!!
Car dying: no more repairs!, no more bills for gas, insurance, licence fees, registration fees, parking tickets, speeding tickets etc.! Yahoo!! ..coincides with lay-off! and you don't have to drive your wife around anymore.. ;-)
Relocation- Wow!, new place, new life!!!...change is good...
- Dino Pacifici: Music-Language of the Spirit
I'm not certain that ANY advice I could give such a person would be even
remotely helpful. But here would be my attempt:
First of all, I'm sorry this is happening. Really. No advice I could give
could take any of that pain and frustration away. What's important to
remember is that your value as a person- who you are- hasn't changed. Your
LIFE has changed, your location has changed, but you are still the same good
person that you've always been.
You don't need me beating you over the head with observations like "things
will get better!" or "remember what you still have!". Just remember that
you still have inside of you those things that make you who you are. Don't
let the opportunity for learning from these things pass you by. So often,
in times of crisis, we forget that there are lessons everywhere. And our
lives will be enriched by those lessons, if we let them.
Let yourself be angry. Let yourself feel sorrow. Let yourself grieve.
But, when the time comes, and it will, let yourself feel happiness, because
you WILL feel it again. Your first reaction, when feeling it, might be "how
can this be? things are far too bad to feel happy right now!" But go ahead
and let yourself feel it. Just remember to live inside of today. If you
try to look into the future with what's happening, you'll probably get more
frustrated. Just live inside today. And don't buy another Saturn..... :)
- Jeff Pearce: ambient guitarist
Just think, you can start completely fresh now. Visualize what you always
wanted to be "when you grow up" and follow your vision.
- Robert Rich:Soundscape Productions / Amoeba Music
Even though things can get rough and life, and it seems like
there is nothing else that could possibly go wrong... once you hit the
bottom, there is no where to go but up. Sometimes you need to lose it
all to gain a new perspective on things, just keep moving, and follow
the road ahead...
- Geoff Varosky: musical nature - an ambient project in experimental sound.
Seek the solace of close friends and relatives. Enjoy alot of R&R. Commune
with whatever brings you closer to your own inner voice and gain a renewed
sense of clarity. A new path is waiting for your discovery.
- Stephanie Santé: midi guitarist
My advice would be "enjoy your freedom while it lasts"
- Andrew Lagowski: noise programmer
My wife and I have been going lately through a lot of small issues, which
unfortunately have been claiming a lot of time, energy and finances, but
seeing it all in the big picture, I do hope we'll never to get frustrated to
such a degree where we become vicious to everything surrounding us.
I think it's rather important to place everything into perspective, even
considering how dramatic and strong the bad luck at that very moment can be.
Convinced at the end this will last longer and keeps you healthy as well.
- Vidna Obmana: ambient/electronic artist @ www.vidnaobmana.org
You have such freedom right now. You could go back to school, move to a
foreign country, work for a non-profit, become a street
performer...decisions don't have to permanent.
- Sara Ayers: ambient artist
Part of adulthood is getting used to seeing bad things happen to good
people.... sometimes even seeing bad things happen to ourselves! Worse
yet, sometimes troubles come along together, all in a row. It's pretty
hard at times like that NOT to start believing that we deserve out bad
fortune, especially if we had some part in bringing about some of it. The
important thing to remember is that when bad things happen to good people,
things always turn around, and people who handle themselves well at those
times are likely to end up rebounding more easily. So as hard as it seems,
try not to identify with your own misfortunes too much. Look at them as
the problems of another person, not your "usual" self, that need to be
solved one by one. Before too long, life will seem a little better and
you'll feel even more equipped to deal with solving the problems that
remain. Just don't feel sorry for yourself, and remember that even though
you may not be to blame for the problems and may not deserve them, you're
the person most likely to be able to solve them.
- M. Griffin: Hypnos Recordings
vodka. hang 10 with old friends and family that doesn't stress you out. take
photos of nature, pile them up in the back yard, gas and torch them. Roast
marshmellows on the resultant flames.
- aspen: www.involve.co.nz
Yikes! I'd say, "pass the pie, please." Uh, well, I have found that
it's often some small thing has really helped me get through
difficult times on a day to day basis... enjoying a favourite book, a
silly TV show or even going out for a regular coffee break. Music,
drawing and writing have also been VERY helpful for me, helping me to
think, process and unbury myself mentally. I guess I'd also say "this
too shall pass," cliched but true... you think the pain will never
end, but it does... it changes, evolves and new things come along.
- M. Bentley: the foundry
Er... I guess things can only get better! Keep smiling and listening to
ambient music... we still love you!
- Nick Webb: Farfield
Initially am tempted to make a list of the most blissful records
known to me and suggest they be put on repeat play on the walkman or
home stereo, yet part of me - the part with experience in that state
in the past - realizes that even most euphoric music can unveil
formerly unnoticed melancholy when loss is the ground of the
listening. Then again such experiences can be oddly productive, and
I have found myself making ironically some of my most uplifting music
with the aim primarily of lifting myself up out of the emotional
abyss. And with seemingly nothing at all holding one down, perhaps
the best suggestion is to put a bit of distance between oneself and
the distressing reminding familiar, allowing the geographical
remoteness of travel to serve as a metaphor for the calm redshifting
of the painful within calmly framed perspective, watching perhaps
from a train or airplane window as the site of unhappiness recedes
into a vanishing dot, unwritten and unmapped. I picture at times an
enormous pair of tweezers, held by a larger creature, lifting me up
by the back of the neck as a mother cat would her kittens, removing
me from clothes, name, family, culture, history, possessions, home,
profession, society, and all other accidents of externally imposed
identity, and then dropping me in the center of a nameless endless
desert; I wonder, then, what is left - that thing that is, that
experiences, that feels, that does. That thing, that being, can be
reminded: this too is experience, this too can lead somewhere
better, in this too there is wisdom to be found.
- Joshua Maremont: (Thermal, Boxman Studies, The Archipelago)
You have all my sympathies. What words can I possibly give you to help? It
must be like the pain of being born again, finding yourself in a world you
thought you knew only with nothing around you to confirm your existance as
an adult. I am an optimistic person, so would say that you have a chance to
re-define yourself that many people would benefit from but are not always
able to create. Hang in there, guy - it gets better from here!
- Martin Franklin: of Tuu and codetrip
Do not doubt yourself. Ask for help, and keep asking until your needs are
met. Be grateful for the many things, even luxuries, that you do have.
Labeling something "good" or "bad" is a matter of perspective, and may
change in hindsight. Remember: the universe is conspiratorially organized
for your benefit!
- Seofon: member/producer with Ambient Temple
of Imagination and The
Archipelago
Editor's P.S.: Yes this question is about me... with so many life-changing things happening at once, I decided to ask the advice of my respected e-friends. Thanks to everyone for their best wishes and thoughtful responses; I'll take your words to heart. In fact, I'm already feeling much better, taking a bit of a break even, before beginning my life anew. Determined to make the best of every bad situation (and hoping not to have so many simultaneousones), my new motto is "All this shit will be the fertilizer for my future growth".
Thanks, all!
David
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